How 9/11 led to the downfall of Ellen DeGeneres: Now I understand your confusion in reading this title. How did the worst terror attack on American soil lead to a beloved comedian’s show ending? Your confusion and disbelief is warranted dear reader, but let me explain.
September 11th, 2001: A young man by the name of Gerard Way is an intern at Cartoon Network. Just a few blocks away from the Twin Towers. On that day in September, Gerard witnessed the attack on the towers. Witnessing something like this would be traumatic to anyone, but for Gerard, he turned his trauma into inspiration.
My Chemical Romance: After the events of 9/11 a young Gerard Way forms the band My Chemical Romance. The band became one of the most famous emo bands of all time, influencing the large emo movement of the time, eyeliner and all. The band attracted a large following, including a young woman named Stephenie Meyer.
2004-2005: Stephenie Meyer loves My Chemical Romance. She loves the dark, brooding nature of the group. She loves the vampiric inspiration of their artwork. Vampires……Hmmmm that would be an interesting thing to write about.
October 5th, 2005: A book by the name of Twilight is released. What seemed like accidentally published supernatural fanfiction soon became internationally acclaimed. Garnering hundreds of fans seemingly overnight. Because of this large following, the book and its subsequent sequels followed the path of other famous book series like Harry Potter and got a movie deal.
Late 2000’s–Early 2010’s: My Chemical Romance may have inspired Stephenie Meyer, but Twilight is inspiring a different author. E. L James. She loves the Twilight series so much that she begins to write fanfiction about it. In her work, Edward is a business tycoon who falls in love with a young, naive reporter Bella Swan. The two begin a sexual relationship and the book follows this relationship and the chaos it follows. If this plot sounds familiar, you’d be right. This is 50 Shades of Grey. 50 Shades of Grey is Twilight fanfiction with the names changed.
2015: After much anticipation, the film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey is finally released. The movie garnered international acclaim. The movie featured a young up and coming actress named Dakota Johnson, who soon would be rocketed into stardom.
December 2019: Dakota Johnson is now one of the most famous and wanted actresses in hollywood. Everyone is jealous of her seemingly endless talent for anything that happens when a camera is put in front of her face. Because of this, she is scheduled to make an appearance on one of the most famous daytime talk shows of all time, Ellen DeGeneres. During their interview, Ellen expresses disappointment that Dakota didn’t invite Ellen to her massive birthday party. Then, almost immediately, Dakota infamously responds, “actually Ellen that isn’t true. I did send you an invite, you just never responded.”
Late 2019-2020: The internet is going bonkers. Ellen has built her career on being a kind and nice person everyone could get along with! Surely this had to be a bit? Maybe Dakota was lying? Maybe there was a misunderstanding? How could Ellen, queen of kindness, possibly stand up Dakota Johnson and then lie about it on national television?
March 2020: We are all locked inside of our homes due to the coronavirus pandemic. Because of this, infamous clips like the one of Dakota and Ellen begin to resurface. It is on Reddit however that the metaphorical chaos hits the metaphorical fan.
Reddit 2020: People who had previously worked with Ellen begin sharing their stories, and now she is the complete opposite of nice. From being belligerent to catering staff, to sending someone home for chewing a certain kind of gum, and even sending someone home to change because of their perfume. Even NickiTutorials got in on it! Nicki, who is one of the most popular YouTube beauty artists, was invited on Ellen after she posted a video coming out as transgender. According to Nicki, every other guest on the Ellen show got a private bathroom and she didn’t. Unlike the other guests, Ellen didn’t come backstage to meet with Nicki before they started filming. This was made worse when during the interview, Ellen expresses her enjoyment of meeting Nicki before the show. This was a lie, Ellen never met with Nicki.
2020-2021: Ellen not being who she said she was is now hitting the mainstream news outlets. Countless other employees of her and the guests she featured on her show are coming out about what they experienced during the show.
May 2021: Ellen announces that this is the last year of the Ellen show. She claims it’s because she wants to pursue other career options and do other things with her life. But isn’t it convenient she announced her retirement during one of the biggest scandals of her career?
May 2022: The last episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show airs.
Intensely Cursed Thoughts 